Debt Dilettante T-Shirts

'If you want somewhere quiet and without crowds...I recommend Greece.'

Prisoner to other: 'But what I actually ended up doing was consolidating all my debts into one ten-year sentence.'

Surviving the credit storm.

"How much do I need? How much you got?"

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

"Well - I've either bought a pack of table napkins, or adopted a Siberian tiger cub..."

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

"You've called tech-support so often that it was decided that it's more practical if I just come and live with you."

"Go ahead. Click on 'I Am Not A Robot.' I dare you."

"I asked a designer to come in and give the office a needed pick-me-up...probably should have been a little more specific."

Mrs. H.G.Wells.

The Internet - Now available in bookstores

"You told me to make a desktop shortcut, so I did. Just take the shortcut I made through the mess."

'I'm trying to figure out online shopping. I've found some pants I like, but I can't find a fitting room.'

'Should I buy or sell?'

"Lost all track fo time with you. 93 unread messages!"

"It's called a mobile... but I've been here an hour and have yet to see it move."

'Since we modified your daughter's digital cellular structure, she's experienced a lot of ringing in her ears. If you need me to check her status, I'll be on call.'

"Would you prefer sparkling water, filtered water, tap water or water?"

"I'd text you, but I haven't learnt to spell yet."

"My husband is ambidextrous....completely useless with either hand!"

I'm beginning to realize you can't cram 10 gigabytes of information into a one-gigabyte brain.

The singles bar...

One Way/Two Ways.

"I don't care what his name was. When I said I needed a Philips head, I meant a screwdriver you idiot!"

"I dunno. It just doesn't "feel" like a diaper."

Entomology Reference: Bees, wasps, drones.

"Why is living my best life so fattening?"

The Man sits with 2 devils on his shoulders.

"How could I flunk? All my answers came straight from Siri."

'You don't do faith healing do you?'

Frank, you're partly cut out of this picture! Kids these days know their gadgets but nothing about where food comes from. I hired a kid to work on the farm and that photo is what I got when he heard the word "crop."

"I spilled the beans last night so I wouldn't have to eat them."

"What's my password? Oh yeah... 'OnCe upona thimeh.'"

'I sure hope this 'timeout' thing is just a phase with Mom.'