Debt Counsellor Pillows

"This is the best advice I can offer."

'The bills !..The bills ! '

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

The secret of living happily ever after....Do it alone.

Couples' therapy

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

'Why can't they call it a deer, or a squirrel market?'

'I prefer the term 'whistleblower' to tattletale.'

"Freud doesn't work for you, so I', going to try some Dr. Anthony Fauci..."

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

'I hate all holidays!'

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

"You're completely screwed up."

Roland, the schizophrenic cowboy.

'Can you loan me *** till pay day?'

"Well..I think the old Thermograph machine I rescued from work goes a treat with our kitchen units."

' I let you think it's your ides...then I agree with you.'

"I just feel like I'm constantly disappointing parents everytime I appear on report cards."

"This could be the marriage all our other marriages were for!"

Harvey went to the kitchen to top up his gin and tonic. When he came back, things took an unexpected turn.

'You are both charged with quarrelling without a license!'

"I don't know, maybe I'm just being mallowdramatic."

'So, what do you want to be when you grow up: rebel scum or loyal servant of the supreme android republic?'

'I see. So what you're saying is that you woke up this morning and your woman had done left you.'

"Have you tried taking long walks?"

'I beleive I have a new approach to psychotherapy, but, like everything else, the FDA tells me it first has to be tested on mice.'

"Tell me more about your imposter syndrome."

'It's the bank again... What I'd give for a bit of good old-fashioned heavy breathing!'

"OK, now what?"

'I feel like such a failure: They have to process my milk to make it low-fat...'

"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."

'My market doesn't understand me.'