Debt Calculator T-Shirts

"Today's test question: If Joe Jones accumulates $16,000 student loan debt in college, then gets a job earning $30,000 a ywar, in how many years would he pay off his loan debt?"

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"And we will absolutely start lending again as soon as we finish building our debtors' prison."

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

"If I'm such a poor risk, how did I get so deep into debt?"

'Can you loan me *** till pay day?'

"According to his will, he wants his outstanding debts to be shared equally between the three of you."

People, please listen. I'm talkin 'bout the income gap. The top one percent of Americans get one third of the nation's income, over double what they got in 1980. One-third. The income for the top 0.01% is 196 times the bottom 90%. Your wages have stagnated and the super-duper rich have gotten super-duper richer! How can you possibly swallow your coffee? Because you're making me do math before noon!

'We can mortgage your future for a very attractive low interest rate.'

"If you have to ask, you can't afford it."

'...just robbing peter to pay paul...what's up with you?'

Business Meeting

"Italy's national debt runs into trillions. How do you repossess a country?"

Pandora's box.

Standard & Poors, you dirty dog! Don't pick at our AAA rating!'

"And please let Alan Greenspan accept the things he cannot change, give him the courage to change the things he can and the wisdom to know the difference."

'There's been a change in my recurring nightmare. I'm no longer falling . . . my credit rating is.'

'Cancel your debt? How do you think I make my money?'

"All in favor of a cap on our liability?"

"If the stock market goes to infinity, would we be able to pay off the national debt?"

Economists generally agree that consumers don't trust products that cost too little. If an item is too inexpensive, it seems cheap. A higher cost connotes quality. Price hike! Beware the rabid capitalist bearing economic theory.

Build it and, sooner or later, they will come!

'I'm now ready to make my own way in the world. But first, can you guys loan me 200 grand to pay off my student loan?'

'My cash flow? It flows right out of my hands to my creditors.'

Standard & Poor's Downgrade

"No point buying our ticket here - the odds of them selling another big winner are ridiculous."

'We strongly recommend you buy the service plan.'

"...Yes, of course you have to pay it back. That's why it's called a student LOAN!"

"Does it say what we use for money?"

'You'll find that math gets easier as you learn how to use a calculator.'

'This calculator is no good for my economics class. It has room for only eight digits in the read out window. We're studying the Federal deficit so I'll need at least fifteen digits.'

'How much does this book about inflation cost?'...

'That meter? It tells you how fast your interest charge is adding up.'

"I gave everything to this man... everything! And what did he do? He cheats on me with a debt consultant!"

"Now get out there and stimulate the economy by paying back your student loans."