Debt And Finance Humor Appreciator Gifts

Clancy: Borrowing Money

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

Vinnie's Repossessions: A Turtle has just had his shell repossessed

'What do you mean, the chart resembles an iceberg?'

God bless our home equity line of credit.

"The interest rate can't go any lower, so if necessary, we'll have to go back to pounds of flesh."

"Cook the books al dente so the auditor will have a little something to crunch."

"It's part of a deal I worked out with the I.R.S."

'Can you get me in touch with people that own me money?'

'Even if we did skin you last year, you may not deduct your dermatologist bill this year.'

"Let us pray for the possessed...and the re-possessed"

'Well, son... I've made my first million by selling my unpaid bills to the paper-recycling guy!'

'It's a bill collector!'

'This is the 'I Fell Behind On My Credit Card Payments, So They Took My Guitar Away Blues'. I'll be performing it a cappella.'

'I'm balancing the books...you are out'

Please do not give insider tips to the bears.

'Great cash flow, Phil.'

American's Funniest Tax Decuctions

A great investment today is the one you didn't make.

They lean more of how the universe began, but can't tell me where the market will end.

Borrowed 200K for mime school

'He owes $30,000 for a degree in drama but right now he's not acting.'

"I say we buy. Hedge fund managers are flying low."

Demonic Repossession

'All these bailouts are silly - why don't they just give everybody their own ATM machines?'

'Oh he's my loans officer.'

In a Kitchen Cupboard, somewhere on Wall St...fortunes changed!!

Metro Hospital

'When they said he was a 'dashing businessman' I didn't realize it meant he ran from his clients.'

'Exploiting the workers hasn't helped...so we'll have to start screwing them.'

'My hedge fund just got trimmed!'

"Im diversifying my portfolio."

Celebrity Accountant