Debt And Finance Humor Appreciator Gifts

Clancy: Borrowing Money

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

Vinnie's Repossessions: A Turtle has just had his shell repossessed

'What do you mean, the chart resembles an iceberg?'

"The interest rate can't go any lower, so if necessary, we'll have to go back to pounds of flesh."

"Cook the books al dente so the auditor will have a little something to crunch."

God bless our home equity line of credit.

"It's part of a deal I worked out with the I.R.S."

'Well, son... I've made my first million by selling my unpaid bills to the paper-recycling guy!'

'Can you get me in touch with people that own me money?'

"Let us pray for the possessed...and the re-possessed"

"My plan moving forward involves fire and Brazilian passports."

'Even if we did skin you last year, you may not deduct your dermatologist bill this year.'

'This is the 'I Fell Behind On My Credit Card Payments, So They Took My Guitar Away Blues'. I'll be performing it a cappella.'

'It's a bill collector!'

'I'm balancing the books...you are out'

Please do not give insider tips to the bears.

'Great cash flow, Phil.'

American's Funniest Tax Decuctions

They lean more of how the universe began, but can't tell me where the market will end.

'He owes $30,000 for a degree in drama but right now he's not acting.'

A great investment today is the one you didn't make.

Borrowed 200K for mime school

"I say we buy. Hedge fund managers are flying low."

Demonic Repossession

'Oh he's my loans officer.'

In a Kitchen Cupboard, somewhere on Wall St...fortunes changed!!

'All these bailouts are silly - why don't they just give everybody their own ATM machines?'

'Exploiting the workers hasn't helped...so we'll have to start screwing them.'

Got Customers?

Metro Hospital

'When they said he was a 'dashing businessman' I didn't realize it meant he ran from his clients.'

'My hedge fund just got trimmed!'

Celebrity Accountant

"Im diversifying my portfolio."