Death Scholar Pillows

Grief Counsellor and Grim Reaper knocking on a door.

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

'When I asked you to do research for your assignment, I meant the library not on Google!'

"It says here that humans are the only member of the animal kingdom who can have sex any time, any place."

'An encyclopedia? I don't know. Let's look up what it is on Wikipedia.'

An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding as written and as it would have been written if David Hume had invested in a word processor,

'You sloth and gluttony guys have it easy -- I'm here for envy!'

So, that's bipedalism? It doesn't look very ergonomic.

"They're very time-sensitive."

Eugene Ionesco

"Mission 66.666% accomplished."

"It's badly sprained, McElroy, and you know as well as I do that I'd only slow you down. Go on without me—and that's a direct order!"

"Night of the living adjunct professor" "What's a sabbatical?" "Tenure is boring!" "I have four desks in four schools!" "I have more prestige than a grad student."

Dear Diary

More Money for Greece.

"I see he finally got rid of that idiotic comb-over."

Tiddles completes his doctorate.

Modern Studying

'I haven't been in any academic journals but I do get my Tweets re-Tweeted a lot.'

"Actually I'm doing this to stand out more in the scholarly community."

"Yes I do like intelligent women - what a stupid question!"

Lincoln's Gettysburg URL Address

'And they say our brains were the size of a walnut.'

"My brain can no longer maintain the intense neural activity of infatuation."

Boris Johnson related to Mummy

Sartre at the Movies.

"You will never get your math homework done that way mister!"

'Sorry I didn't call after our first date. I thought I'd go to college, law aschool and work for awhile to impress you enough so you'd go out with me again.'

'He decided he'd rather represent gluttony.'

Doze: the magazine for slumber enthusiasts

Osteologist

Satan's desk boxes say mortal and venial.

"Oh, come on. How can you be surprised to see me?"

"People won't take you seriously with all of the smiley faces on it."

Morgue Waiting Room.