Death Defying Adventurer T-Shirts

Racing the Grim Reaper.

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

I can't decide. Should I go to soccer camp 3 weeks in a row? Or soccer, then baseball then lacrosse camp? 3 soccers. Isn't overspecializing at his age bad? Possibly. But 3 different sports means�buying 3 different sets of expensive equipment. Right, He does have a mean corner kick.

Remember how you advised me to get a dangerous hobby to build up my self-esteem and impress people? Well, all the dangerous hobbies were already taken. You wrestle alligators

'Bloody streakers - they have a lot to learn.'

'I have a feeling we are not in Kansas anymore.'

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

'I can't believe I'm pretending to be 55 already...'

'I don't think you can claim for this as a substitute car ...'

You know you're getting older: when your back goes out more often than you do!

Wally's dye job...makes his hair look 25 years younger.

'Dad, can you teach me to swim?' 'Well, I'm not much of a swimmer, but I can teach you to tread water. I do that every day at work.'

'There is a fancy name for your condition...Let's just call it 86 and counting.'

"Ha! Now no one can call me 'old'! I just overtook a sports car!"

"Don't worry, I won't hold my age against you."

Let's make a bonfire of our troubles.

"Listen, I'm still your mother."

Three years ago during a special episode of the Ask Sadie™ show, our resident octogenarian asked readers for advice about how she could deal with her midlife crisis. You should try a radical makeover. When I hit midlife, I dyed my hair, got some tattoos, and dropped 75 pounds. My husband barely recognized me when he returned from overseas. He was not happy with my "new self," so I divorced him rather than change who I'd become. It was the best decision I'd made since I cut my thieving mother out

"Try to remember, you're not 70 any more."

Sticking out tongue

"This is our corporate evaluation pond. If you can survive a 15 minute swim, then you are management material."

'I told you to sip it!'

Man in woods sees sign, 'No Trespassing', next to 'Go Ahead - Make Our Day!'

'What if we just cut back on our genres this year?'

'My doctor's given me the all-clear for our Reunion tour.'

A woman reads a romance novel.

'I can't believe this! Is there anyone here who isn't too chicken to jump?'

'My Goodness! All these years George and I never guessed you were a superhero.'

"Be honest- how does it look? I had to leave my laugh lines in for Bill."

"75"

"It's a digital tattoo. It changes every time it's no longer age appropriate."

Optimistic Aging...

Alcoholidays.

Person who refuses to admit age on board. Feel free to drive with wild and reckless abandon.

'Do you remember our first date?', 'Sure I do! --'long ago, in a Ford Galaxie far away....''