Deal Master Gifts

"About the merger, please don't use the words 'takeover' or acquisition."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

'Now that I have your attention...'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

The president's men

A fight in the Boardroom.

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

"What if he's bluffing? What if he's not? What if the room just gets too hot?"

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

'We divested ourselves of a division here, a subsidiary there, a branch here, an affiliate there...there's nothing left!'

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

"I see we're going up against the Big Guys."

"We structured the deal so it won't make any sense to you."

"They've agreed to the merger, the sticking point is who is swallowing who?"

'If we have only fractional ownership, it's not a private jet anymore, is it?'

'So, gentlemen, how's the dollar trading against the immortal soul, today?'

'He's ruthless and greedy... so let's make sure he's on our side.'

'Maybe we should sign him before the MVP award is announced.'

"That's Hicks from the corporate office. He's adorable, but trust me—when it comes to acquisitions, he's an animal!"

'He exuded the confidence of an exec who had closed mega deals, and hadn't found a flea in a week.'

You gotta hand it to the old man, he still knows how to motivate!

"I think I'll have the businessman's lunch."

Opening the door to new customers

Takeovers.