Deal-making King T-Shirts

The Terrorist of Tariffs

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

Do you want to win the game or my business?

"You are aware that we try to make money here, yes?"

"He'll never win this negotiation. He's saddled with numbers...but we have anecdotes."

"Does it ever cross your mind that we make a lot of money because no one else wants to do what we do?"

'Now think, Harris, what did you do different on that day?'

'First, the Rules of Engagement for this meeting ...'

'A hostile takeover just wasn't feasible, so we agreed to a hostile merger.'

It's a deal. You give me five analysts, three pundits, seven technicians and a soothsayer. I give you six experts, five professors, four consultants and a prognosticator.

...and if the Chairman rings, find out who he is.

'No hostile takeover bids beyond this point.'

"Can you believe those guys? We tell them absolutely, positively no further negotiations, and they stop negotiating!"

'He's out massaging,manipulating and monopolising.'

"The Oaths of the Venture Capitalists."

"I'd prefer a win-win solution – but I'm open to just a win."

'The trick is to be gentle yet firm in negotiations. I prefer soft money and hard liquor.'

"Remember, negotiating is like buying fruit. You don't know what you'll get until you squeeze 'em a bit."

"It sounds good so far, are there any strings attached?"

'That's the way I remember him...always cooking up a deal.'

"I came, I saw I takeovered."

Just Merged.

'Everything is negotiable, including my integrity.'

"I was hoping we could avoid the middleman"

"Don't anybody move: this is a merger."

'The business is worth $125,000, tops. We expect Google to offer us three billion.'

'It's not a stick-up, it's a merger offer.'

The aspirin deal has given him a headache.

"Souls are a dime a dozen. The best I can give you is ten free dance lessons."

Unexpected Merger

"From now on we’ll no longer pay your trucking company for driving for us. We’d like to be paid by you because you’re allowed to transport our great products!"

'I love it. It's a win-lose situation.'