Deal-making Strategist T-Shirts

'He's out massaging,manipulating and monopolising.'

'It's not a stick-up, it's a merger offer.'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

'Okay...3.5 billion in stock, 2.5 billion in cash, 80 million in deferred compensation, my own private jet, a luxury car lease for the next ten years, 3 club memberships and...

Do you want to win the game or my business?

"May I remind you that we can always go with duck eggs."

'First, the Rules of Engagement for this meeting ...'

'A hostile takeover just wasn't feasible, so we agreed to a hostile merger.'

It's a deal. You give me five analysts, three pundits, seven technicians and a soothsayer. I give you six experts, five professors, four consultants and a prognosticator.

'So far we're holding off overseas competition.'

...and if the Chairman rings, find out who he is.

'In conclusion; our major contract expires tomorrow, we have no idea what we want, and no knowledge of the market, It is time to pass this across to the Procurement Team...'

'No hostile takeover bids beyond this point.'

"Can you believe those guys? We tell them absolutely, positively no further negotiations, and they stop negotiating!"

'It must be a risky proposal... legal is running it by their lawyers.'

'What say we set aside all our petty grievances and just hate each other on general principles.'

'So push has come to shove...'

"The Oaths of the Venture Capitalists."

"Before you ask for a raise, I need you to be aware I've got a map of your brain on my mobile."

"What happened to the good old days when people just breached contracts?'

"I always ask for a pony for my birthday. I find it gives the most bargaining room."

"I'd prefer a win-win solution – but I'm open to just a win."

'The trick is to be gentle yet firm in negotiations. I prefer soft money and hard liquor.'

"Remember, negotiating is like buying fruit. You don't know what you'll get until you squeeze 'em a bit."

'That's the way I remember him...always cooking up a deal.'

"I came, I saw I takeovered."

"So that's a 'no'. . .?"

"It sounds good so far, are there any strings attached?"

'Everything is negotiable, including my integrity.'

'Right...we've agreed to mediation to decide whether or not we go to mediation!'

"I was hoping we could avoid the middleman"