Deadline Humorist Gifts

"People, it's a two-year project! That means we have 23 months to goof-off until we put something together!"

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

"Don't worry about missing the meeting, Henshaw. We assigned all the actions to you."

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

Working Late

"Why can't I get anything done unless I'm totally stressed out about it?" "Is it possible to be relaxed and still be productive?" "What is wrong with my brain?" "Why don't you work better?"

Deadline

"O.K., she's sitting fown to write in three...two....one...."

"The mad king ruled by chaos and corruption. He pitted everyone against each other, and they all lived divisively ever after. The end."

"Let's face it, this meeting isn't about tightening our work schedule. It's about stretching our deadline."

"I'm thinking that now is a good time to start those tutoring sessions."

Novelist, writing her own vows... runs into writer's block.

'We are in a race against time and the auditors. Gentlemen...start your shredders!'

'May I recommend a dry white with the seafood dish.'

Deadlines, Inc.

A Visit From The Procrastination Muse

'It's all right, I'm just a little behind.'

"Do you have anything that would make him seem like a self satisfied pig?"

'Yes, it's very nice. But, that isn't what I meant when I asked you to be more creative, in bed.'

"Have you figured out what the powers of that new super hero will be? How about the power to meet deadlines? That would be a good power?"

'Next day to the coast! You must be nuts!'

'The publisher wants to know how the article on the booming economy is coming along.'

Time Run

"I have to get this project finished."

"I always put things off until the last minute."

'I seem to be very conservative but secretly, I'm a rebel - I don't wear pants.'

'Sir, I was wondering if I could get an extension on my paper?'

A business man sits at his office desk with trays that read 'going once, going twice... and gone.'

"Look I'm half way through a meeting, this better be bloody important!"

"He's been working on that project non-stop."

"This project was a mismanaged rush job and woefully underfunded, but we did finish it on time and under budget."

"You will let me know if I'm boring you with my little stories, won't you dear?"

Stressed woman tries to sleep knowing her status report for 48 projects is due in the morning.

"I just need you to come up with something brilliant before the weekend."

"Let's face it, this meeting isn't about tightening our work schedule. It's about stretching our deadline."