Dating Scene Strategist Mugs

'I knew he was intelligent when he agreed with everything I said'

"Uh, wait a minute - Did you say 'Not IF you were the last man on earth,' or 'Not UNLESS you were the last man on earth'?"

"So, tell me, how many guys have you slept with?"

'I sent out for everything.'

I really think I can handle this date on my own. Lemme ask you something. Would you trust me alone with a ybot 340? An Xbox 360? They changed the name? Okay. But you cannot hit on my date. I'm only here to help.

"What I’ve learned is you have to look deep inside your heart and ask yourself, ‘What is it that she really wants to hear?’"

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

'I don't like Gerald as a person, but I like him as a concept.'

Yeah, you're right. She's playing hard-to-get.

"Listen to me, Nathan. Chicks love bad boys."

Colin could see that his competitor had obviously done his market research.

Updated fairy tales - "Cinderella." Dating Service. It's not often we get a client looking for a specific shoe size.

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? My wife doesn't have a job. The other night she told me it'd be nice if I helped out a little more at home. So I replied "hey, I don't ask you to come to my place of business and do my job for me." I see. Have you tried the "act like I never said it and wait for her to forget it" routine? Yes, sir. I also, tried the "don't-make-eye-contact-until-she-forgets-it" maneuver. I'm running out of ideas.

"I just love a nice knight out."

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

'Thanks for inviting me round to watch tv. Where is it?'

"Instead of making a long-term commitment to marriage, I've decided to lease a man."

Planned Parenthood: Not Tonight Dear. I Have a Headache.

"I don't know whether to love you or leave you - but then that's the reality of arbitrage."

The date was going well. She was better looking, but he was about to gain the nutritional edge.

'He had bulging muscles and a wallet to match!'

Dating the efficiency expert.

'It was so romantic. He got down on one knee, showed me the ring, and proposed--right after we exchanged credit reports.'

"Don't wait too long for Mr. Right or you'll end up with Mr. What's left!"

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

'First, you have to stop treating your husband like a child.'

If you are ringing your coach to ask about your next move then we're finished.

"Hi!- standards need lowering?"

Marriage counselor, living together counselor or a just screwing around counselor.

Alligator Bars

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'

"I had guys chase my tail, then one day I thought, hey, dummy, get rid of the middlemen and chase your own tail!"

'Your place or mine? Both. You go to your place and I'll go to mine!'

"No, I don't think our marriage would benefit from a mission statement."

"I can't cook, but I can pay."