Dating Expert Wannabe T-Shirts

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

'I don't like Gerald as a person, but I like him as a concept.'

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

Boyfriend of the Month.

"You seem dangerous. I like that."

"Listen to me, Nathan. Chicks love bad boys."

"You lack spontaniety."

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

"Instead of making a long-term commitment to marriage, I've decided to lease a man."

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

"I feel I'm losing touch with the unrealistic view I have of him."

Biological Cuckoo clock

The Stages of Wine

"I'm experiencing bouts of heavy breathing and dizziness when I'm speed dating!"

"Ideally, I'm looking for a guy who can make me smile."

Ostrich Bar

Sharing Drinks.

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'

Women's Idea of Sharing/Men's Idea of Sharing.

'The website made a mistake. Not 'erotic' - 'neurotic'.'

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

When kissing a woman, try not to burp.

'Standing on tiptoe waving your claw may attract a crab, but it certainly doesn't woo me.'

A Tree Grows In . . . Wherever.

"I've become so good at dating—relationships that used to take months now last a matter of days."

"I've had my eye on you for some time"

"Ask me anything you want about Water Cress!"