Dating Experimenter Pillows

Man Trying to Attract a Mate With Peacock Feathers.

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

"We first met on the net. We began to court, but between my foul mouth and Wilson being on the rebound...let's just say it was a long shot, but he pressed, and I was defenseless. Now, we're as 'hoopy' as can be."

I DATED A GUY FROM THE FAIR, BUT . . .

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

Sexual chemistry set

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

"The instructions for the beer-making kit you gave me? Didn't need them -- I figured it out for myself. Drink up."

Boyfriend of the Month.

"I'm sorry about all this. It's my animal magnetism."

"What lead you to growing human tests in a test tube?"

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

"The cheek of him! At the end of the first date, he wanted me to go to his home to roost!"

"Why don't you move over here, Mr. Lowery, where you'll be closer to everything."

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"You lack spontaniety."

"I just love a nice knight out."

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

"The trouble is, professor, you see the Erlenmeyer flask half empty and I see it half full."

The perfect man

Macho Vegetarian

Biological Cuckoo clock

"The worst thing about having aliens abduct you is that they say they’re going to call, but they never do."

The Stages of Wine

"I asked for a bottle of something that would make men drool over me. This is bourbon."

"I'm experiencing bouts of heavy breathing and dizziness when I'm speed dating!"

'Two Mr. Wrongs don't make a Mr. Right.'

"Ideally, I'm looking for a guy who can make me smile."

"Don't wait too long for Mr. Right or you'll end up with Mr. What's left!"

Cursing Scientist.

Ostrich Bar