Dating Czar Gifts

"What do you think about Brexit?"

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

Struggling with issues from his own childhood, the Bedroom Bandit would sneak in and jumble children's room across the nation. Not a mother believed it.

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

'Half-time, full-time - It's gone into penalties, woman!'

"Actually, I worked my way up from ideas and you can too!"

'Crabs, sharks, octopi...'

'I still have all my own teeth.'

"Are you seeing anyone?"

What they're thinking.

'He's been driven mad by reading about all these huge litigation cases...'

'Good morning. You have twelve million terabyte unread e-mails.'

'Nope...1443 bloggers have already panned it.'

'I seem to have reached the limit of my unlimited internet plan.'

Sadie, this counseling won't work if you don't say what's bothering you. You'll just get upset. I won't. You will too. Will not. Will too. Will too. Will not will not WILL NOT. It bothers me that you're childish.

'We'll only have a five minute window, everything has to be timed to the last second.'

'Mismatched Mantras'

'They're lovely, but I want you to know I never say yes on first negotiations.'

Sacred Cow Meets Cash Cow.

"And this is where I met your mum."

Telapathy.

"You haven't seen my name on the CNN crawl line, have you?"

"It is against computer viruses!"

'My son is fit and healthy so make sure he does his PE lesson today. . . Always proof read a 3rd party supplier contract. Love Mum.'

'Gimme the remote. I think you got it on slo-mo.'

"I would like to have lunch with him but he's always so out-to-lunch."

"In my legal opinion, Mr. Humpty, you should avoid treating your cracks till after we sue the owner of the wall."

Back To School: Turn of cell phones, tablets. . .

"I thought I liked him despite his affectations. It turned out all I really liked were his affectations."

"There's nothing wrong with saying hi to a girl you might not know. People can be friend, more than you think."

"Don't worry Josh, there's plenty more fish in the sea."

'Hey! This is the nonsmoking cage.'

'I understand you like one night stands. Feel free to stand out there in the hall all night.'

"It's been tough dating since my divorce...I never ad any trouble getting women to o out with me when I was still married!"

Social distancing is not an insurmountable problem.