Dating Culture Critics T-Shirts

'I remember when sex on the first date was shocking. Now they don't even bother with a date!'

'He's not showing off to me as much as he used to...'

'You will never require the services of a dating agency.'

'This is a simple proclamation-of-lack-of-interest date.'

"Sorry I'm late... I was getting our date approved by my lawyer."

"Will you stop doing that please? Isn't it obvious to you that I just don't fancy him?!"

"Honestly, Gwen! Sometimes they act as if we were pieces of meat!"

"I like you, but only in a Facebook thumbs up kind of way."

"Psst. . . want to see what women from Venus really look like?"

I am sorry you can't have Sonia,she is for display only.'

"Oh, great... they say they all have headaches."

Sue meets another Winner

'Someday, all this will be done with prescription drugs.'

"That's it...it's so obvious! Girls go crazy for mindless slugs who only want to party all night long!"

Speed Dating and Speed Dumping

Sterns Father. 'What an unearthly hour that young fellow stops till every night, Doris. What does your mother say about it?' Daughter. 'She says men haven't altered a bit pa.'

"Nah, I just don't fancy it anymore."

"Actually, I was looking for someone with a prehensile mind."

'This could be another chapter for my book on easy pickups.'

Rat: 'So...your Sewer or mine?'

'I can't believe you actually JOINED the 'Psycho Girlfriend of the Month' Club!'

"I've been watching 'The Crown'! Before that, I thought that 'Edward the Seventh' was a bad dating pattern!"

"Please may I see you again - I find your opinions so easy to trash."

'...Anyway, enough about me. Tell me a little bit about yourself.'

"I've no interest or hobbies, I'm a pretty dull old stick really, the only exciting thing that's happened to me was winning £4 million on the lottery..."

When it comes to misrepresenting oneself in the world of online dating, I think you've set a new record: height, weight, age, income, job description, gender and species.

Another Soft-Porn Dating Show

Gangster personal ad

"I ran your name through a background check app. You were a misogynist in the 2nd grade."

Dating Agency - Call The Police. "Your details are coming through now."

If you want to go on a date, I'll need some basic information. Cholesterol level, history of family heart disease, cancer and diabetes

I'm not one of those guys who types in your number on his Smart phone and then deletes it. I'm old-school. I write it down on a piece of paper and then throw it away.

"Are you positive he's the one who talked about himself all night and never once asked about you?"

"If he asks for p*ssy ut's fine, so long as it really is a metonymy."