Dating App Navigator Prints

"How was my internet date? Put it this way, I went online hoping for broadband; I got dial-up."

"Mario Patrizio, Conte di Cellini-Vasconi --- Eurotrash or Eurotreasure?"

The dating questionnaire: 'Sorry sir, you've failed in two categories.'

"I guess I misunderstood when I read you were into 'Bodybuilding'."

"I don't understand it! My nerd detector's going crazy!"

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

Barman indicates sick bucket, alongside usual ice bucket, saying to attractive woman: 'That's there in case you hear any particularly bad chat-up lines.'

"Don't blame me! Your profile said nothing about a seafood allergy."

"Your profile didn't mention you being a chewer."

'Are you ready to be patronised yet?'

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

Cat Love Ads: "Are you; 'Stubborn, lazy, unfaithful and psychopathic...with no sense of humour?""

"Wanna get pigeon holed?"

'Your place or mine? Both. You go to your place and I'll go to mine!'

"Hold on one second I'm just scrolling through your Instagram to get to know you."

Got suspicious after he asked to see a recent picture and she sent over an oil painting.

'Okay, I'll stand on the mantle, but she's never going to believe you bagged a duck.'

"I need a man who will commit."

"I know that on-line dating service claims a 90% success rate, but let's face it, Henry, we're in that other ten percent!"

'I know I said you could take me home but I didn't mean to your place!'

"You're not working as a crossing guard now, Brenda."

'It's our first date. You don't know me well enough to ask if I'm getting enough fiber.'

'Frankly, I'm looking for someone who's tall, dark and solvent.'

'George and I met on line!'

"I'll be honest with you, Jeannette, I'm looking for a no-load relationship."

Relate on-line: An error of type 4807 has occurred in your marriage.

'Jeremy and I have decided to take our online relationship to a new level - real life.'

"I'm looking for a dreamboat, not a shipwreck."

"The bastard told me he was a pilot."

"Would you consider yourself creamy or crunchy?"

"So me heartie, what's say you and I 'hook up' a bit later?"

"Careful Nora. There's nothing worse than a bad oyster!"

"When you said on your profile you are 'loyal and affectionate' I expected something a little different."

Plato seeking platonic love on Tinder