Dating App Dabblers Prints

Captain Ahab receives a Dick pic

'His workout regimen consists of 50 sit-downs every day.'

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

'I may not know about DNA, but I sure as hell know about recombinant.'

cuPad

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

Today's love

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

"I've tried 5 diets and haven't lost a pound. Maybe I shouldn't try them all at the same time."

My first mistake.

"Constant delays and confusion over Brexit are causing the firm huge problems. . ."

"Wanna get pigeon holed?"

'You're going to have to stop smoking, drink less, change your eating habits and start taking regular exercise.' 'This seems awfy one-sided, Doctor.'

Obese man using a exercise machine. His false teeth are flying out.

"Wow! That guy is REALLY good at 'Speed Dating!'"

'...and that concludes this seminar on healthy living. Now, if anyone cares to join me, I'm off to that new place down the street for some steak and a few beers.'

"I'm on a diet. Mini-size it!"

'I know I said you could take me home but I didn't mean to your place!'

'When did 'At Ease' become 'Chill'?'

The four major food groups.

'Let's try again but NO laughing this time!'

Snow Surgery

"A good rule of thumb is, if you can't lift it, don't eat it."

'He was taller online!'

The Cat that Ate the Canary, 3 a.m.

'Yes, that's all - isn't 1500 calories enough?'

"Sure-fire weight loss program."

"I'll take a latte with Mocha, Vanilla, Caramel, Hazelnut, Cinnamon, Chai, White Chocolate, Pumpkin Spice, Gingerbread, Butterscotch and Marshmallow. Hold the whipped cream, I'm on a diet."