Dating Ad Lover Pillows

Early Sexting

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"You lack spontaniety."

"I'm experiencing bouts of heavy breathing and dizziness when I'm speed dating!"

Biological Cuckoo clock

"Ideally, I'm looking for a guy who can make me smile."

Ostrich Bar

Women's Idea of Sharing/Men's Idea of Sharing.

"And now a word from our sponsors...ratings."

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'

'But what do you sell?'

'We need to change our marketing strategy.'

When kissing a woman, try not to burp.

'It began as The Great American Novel...but it finally sold as an infomercial.'

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

A Tree Grows In . . . Wherever.

"I've become so good at dating—relationships that used to take months now last a matter of days."

Junk Mail

"Yes, we met on a blind date, or in your father's case, a blind drunk date."

'This unexpectedly concludes tonight's program -- the sponsor bailed out.'

'I hate these commerical breaks!'

"Ask me anything you want about Water Cress!"

"We're ready to give the verdict....after the commercial break."

'I prefer Brand X myself.'

"What if I dress up like a Chihuahua?"

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."