Date Night Comedian Prints

'Would you say you lean more to the left?'

"When you called yourself a playboy...."

'May I recommend a dry white with the seafood dish.'

"It's not your phone service... you're talking into a spring roll."

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

"Where did you say you went to culinary school?"

'You forgot your glasses again, didn't you?'

"Roll over. Your Zs are looking like Ns."

"Do you have anything that would make him seem like a self satisfied pig?"

"Mind if I read a little?"

"Couples therapy is not 'going out', Henry!"

"I am off duty, but the body cam allows me to discreetly take photos of my meal."

He's Tasty!

'I seem to be very conservative but secretly, I'm a rebel - I don't wear pants.'

'I don't usually find worms attractive,but as soon as I saw him I was hooked!'

"You will let me know if I'm boring you with my little stories, won't you dear?"

"I overestimated the amount of fun you can have on a balcony."

"Get whatever you want. My mom's paying."

"Look, I'm terribly sorry to interrupt, but. . ."

"Why do you think cool cars are lame?"

"Suddenly I can't think of anything to chirp."

"Barry looks to have pulled a mussel."

"On your profile you said you weren't very confident about your looks!"

"What I don't like about the military is all the emphasis on winning."

'You really don't get this 'going clubbing' thing ... '

'Oh, Dave. It's gorgeous... Can I show it to the girls in work before I turn you down?'

"Taking leftovers home, again?"

"Happy Birthday, dear. Remember. . . it's the thought that counts!"

'If you're God's gift to women, I'd rather just have the money.'

'It's still embarrassing, whether it's toilet paper or you're unraveling.'

Another blind date ends badly for Uncle Pennybags

One for my baby.

'Will you stop repeating everything I say.'

"You're not one of those hoarders, are you?"

"It's not everyone I ask for a DNA sample on the first date."