Data Professional T-Shirts

'Crusher' Collins: Data custodian by day, data bouncer by night.

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"My email is down... talk to me."

"Welcome to the future"

'The check is in the email attachment.'

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

The Computer Bore

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

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'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

'Do you remember when our time away from the office was our time...'

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

'For those with books, open and follow along. For those with laptops, follow me on Twitter.'

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."