Darkness Pillows

A vampire with a darkness flashlight

'What do you mean you're afraid of the dark? You're a nightcrawler.'

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

Huddling Lampposts

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

Edgar Allen Poe

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

'Alright, which one of you wise guys pulled the fire alarm?'

Dead Funny

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

"I've got a bad feeling about this."

"O.K., time's up. Pencils down."

100 best beheadings

"Tastes great, less killing!"

"Ah, Stevens—sit anywhere."

Vincent Van Goth.

"First of all, kudos on landing a corner office."

'Passengers were on their way to a clown convention. We've 7 fatalities and 174 in hospital.'

Monster fixing boy's car bed.

"It just don't feel right, drinking him like that."

Poetry reading nightly

"So, Claire tells me you ate her parents last night."

Special Place in Hell...

'This had better be important, I'm in the middle of a conference call!'

'Step one inexploring a newly discovered cave- wade thru the bat guano.'

"No, we're not going to reanimate. We're going to sell them to medical schools."

"You like woodwork class then, son?"

The grim reaper (of humans) and the angel of death (for dogs) are foreshadowing the imminent death of a man and his doh.

Meet the Artist

"I'm doing my part to conserve electricity."

"Ooh, Igor — a dead rat! You shouldn’t have!"

'Today our special guest is Pamela, who will be telling us what it's like to have an extreme fear of being in the dark. To protect her identity we've placed her in a darkened studio.'