Dark Humor Football Supporter Pillows

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

'Alright, which one of you wise guys pulled the fire alarm?'

'Now they're just taking the piss.'

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

'The cash bonus incentives don't appear to be having the desired results. So, I've hired Rocky, here. He'll be providing the heads of the least productive departments with his own brand of incentive. If you know what I mean.'

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"Needs to get a life"

The practical psychopath

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

"I'm the bad guy..."

"I've got a bad feeling about this."

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

Murder in Apartment 6-K

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"Congratulations, Trumpism. It's ot often we initiate a new horseman."

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

"O.K., time's up. Pencils down."

Optimist

Should've been routine. That was before the dog called and offered to pay twice as much to have the master put down.

'It was great. I hated it.'

"I used to be your old school teacher, I always said you would amount to nothing."

Beckett for Beginners: "Waiting for Thumbkin"

"What's the problem? We told you when you started you'd have to make some sacrifices."

"I reap and I reap and it's like he doesn't even notice."

"If you can’t beat ’em, roll around in their decaying carcass."

'Bloody streakers - they have a lot to learn.'