Dark Humor Football Supporter Pillows

Hell Separates Real Madrid and Barcelona fans.

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

'Alright, which one of you wise guys pulled the fire alarm?'

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

'Now they're just taking the piss.'

'The cash bonus incentives don't appear to be having the desired results. So, I've hired Rocky, here. He'll be providing the heads of the least productive departments with his own brand of incentive. If you know what I mean.'

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

"I've got a bad feeling about this."

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

Murder in Apartment 6-K

"O.K., time's up. Pencils down."

"I'm the bad guy..."

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"Congratulations, Trumpism. It's ot often we initiate a new horseman."

"Needs to get a life"

The practical psychopath

Optimist

Should've been routine. That was before the dog called and offered to pay twice as much to have the master put down.

'It was great. I hated it.'

"I used to be your old school teacher, I always said you would amount to nothing."

Turkey Autopsy

'Bloody streakers - they have a lot to learn.'

Beckett for Beginners: "Waiting for Thumbkin"

'I know how much you like holding hands, so I brought you a box of them..'