Football Humorist Pillows

'Coach is in a meeting. He's going over patterns with his receivers.'

'What makes you think Sepp Blatter is a great football defender?!'

The defence were confident about their offside trap.

'Nesbitt will do all our Monday morning quarterbacking.'

'As an exercise I placed eleven dustbins on the pitch and made the team dribble around them...The bins won 5-0.'

'Then I remarked how good it was that the linebacker faked the blitz then dropped back into coverage. You should have seen his face. It was like I'd taken away his G.I Joe and put a dress on it.'

"Hey! I know that handwriting, St Valentines day last year!!!"

'Foot balling phillistines, how soon they forget.'

Football Bomb

"This isn't going to work, Haskins. You short arm every pass thrown over your head."

"Before we begin. . . terms and conditions. . ."

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Punt Cake

Football Chameleon

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

Alternative fielding positions

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Trojan Hurdler.

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

Small country advertisng at the Olympics

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

'He migrates through every year about this time. Just sits there and watches. We leave him alone and he leaves us alone...'

Footballer kicking his own brain.

'It Kicked!' - 'Punt, Drop or Tad?'

"With one wrong turn, Sparky's big adventure became a nightmare."

Footballer holding team mates bum while preparing for a penalty shoot out

'He's definitely heading for a red card.'

'Robert.....Why do you think they call slanted letters italics.'