Dark Comedy Collector Pillows

"Daddy, can I have a pony killed?"

Organ Exchange Bank

'Don't take it so hard, Paul. Lots of my employees have made mistakes in the past. In fact, if you look to your left I think you can see a few of their skeletons in the corner.'

Occu-Pie Mars

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

'Alright, which one of you wise guys pulled the fire alarm?'

Surf Casting

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

Banana Split...

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Dead Funny

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"Been following me around all morning. I think it's the new intern."

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

Turtle Hat

End the Winter Blues

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

Snowmobull

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

E-Baying @ The Moon

Filet minion

"O.K., time's up. Pencils down."

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

"The Eggsorcist"

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

A trevor of trainspotters

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."