Dark Arts Appreciator Pillows

100 best beheadings

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

He looks so natural lying there...

'The massive arrests have made the plans for downsizing much easier.'

The Fall of Gnome

"This makes Pamplona seem like child's play."

Cheating Death.

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

"Promise me that if I die first you won't eat me."

'You don't need a colonoscopy, but I'm sending you for one because, quite frankly, I don't like you.'

'I know you don't belong here, but if we let you go to Heaven, we couldn't not guarantee your safety.'

The Reaper's Arms

"It's a bit of a surprise. He has eaten people before, but only when he felt threatened. Your husband must have provoked him."

Existential Risk

"I couldn't finish that book either."

'I'm quite impressed with your bloodthirstiness but we won't be able to offer you health benefits eternally.'

Vincent Van Goth.

Cupid's Valentine

"Have you got any man eating plants?"

"Great! The defibrillator still works! Thank you, nurse!"

'Another Scotch?'

'The anti-Christ can't pick up a phone?'

Vampire shaving cut dilemma.

Life coach faces the Grim Reaper

"Running out for lawyers and CEOs. Want anything?"

"Another clear case of COVID19."

Night of the living will

"You were smart to come see, Mr. Lewis. These moles on your back definitely look suspicious."

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

"And if you look to the right you'll see what happens if you disrupt my class."