Dark Aesthetic Appreciator Gifts

Vincent Van Goth.

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

He looks so natural lying there...

'The massive arrests have made the plans for downsizing much easier.'

"This makes Pamplona seem like child's play."

Mr Metrosexual.

I crawled out of a toilet and ate a guy. Say my name 3 times in a mirror. I dare you. No one suspects I'm Slenderman. She took me home. Then she woke up in a tub of ice missing a kidney. Urban Legends-in-Their-Own-Minds.

100 best beheadings

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

Cheating Death.

"Promise me that if I die first you won't eat me."

Cover Design for Yellow Book Prospectus for Vol 5 (Not Published)

"My pillow mania got out of control so I'm limiting myself to just one at a time."

Was the Illuminati - now the Illuminasty

'You don't need a colonoscopy, but I'm sending you for one because, quite frankly, I don't like you.'

'I've got it made in the shade. What worries me is sunshine.'

Existential Risk

'I know you don't belong here, but if we let you go to Heaven, we couldn't not guarantee your safety.'

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

Analysis of Beauty - Plate II.

"It's a bit of a surprise. He has eaten people before, but only when he felt threatened. Your husband must have provoked him."

The Reaper's Arms

"I couldn't finish that book either."

'I'm quite impressed with your bloodthirstiness but we won't be able to offer you health benefits eternally.'

"Ah, Stevens—sit anywhere."

Oscar Wilde

"Running out for lawyers and CEOs. Want anything?"

"Why are these things always such pathetic kitsch?"

Cupid's Valentine

'The anti-Christ can't pick up a phone?'

'Another Scotch?'

If I tell you what I spy with my little eye, I'll have to kill you.