Dam Detective T-Shirts

'Not only did they install an elevator to help you get over the dam, they also hired an elevator operator.'

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"They grow up so fast."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

Charities should investigate whether published reports are 'Misleadingly Positive'.

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

'The question is - to what level of data do we wish to stoop.'

"Since he's been a plagiarist, committed perjury and runs a Ponzi scheme, trust can be an issue."

"There's a lot of uncertainty out there these days. Or not. Who knows?"

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

'Maybe we have the wrong subject for this brain mapping project.'

We have a problem with your research. We're Encyclopedia Britannica and you're Wikipedia.

Man in office, desk covered in computer equipment, uses floor for photos, desk pads etc.

Violent Crime Statistics

"....and then it turned out that the e-mail I ignored that I got from the Nigerian bank offering me £200 million was REAL!"

"Eureka! Details to follow."

'We have some facts about you that you don't remember, some that you thought were really secret, and some that never even happened.'

'Please, Ma'am — I'm running out of paper!'

The good news is that I've got all the figures...the BAD news is that I'm not sure what order to put them in!

'86.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

'It looks like our data.'

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

It's spooky how Amazon can track you down

"Look, the numbers don't lie."

"Miss Jenkins, e-mail the housekeeper. Her telecommuting days are over"

"Of course it's only prediction, we can't guarantee anything."

"The red bars represent the obscene numbers this quarter. The black bars are censoring those red bars."

"You question my methodology? Perhaps you should question your questionology."