Dairy Products Detective Pillows

"We know you boosted that milk truck!" "Admit it or we'll take a bite outta you!"

"Where do we put Desserts?"

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Honest Vending

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

His first conspiracy theory...'Is it a coincidence the first time I walk, they start locking all the cupboards? I think not!'

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

"Okay, lets see what we have here."

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

'Are you the guy who put gluten in the bread?'

Clandestine cows.

GM Crops Genie.

Horse meat scandal.

"Your chocolate biscuits and cakes are getting smaller - and where's your sweets aisle?"

'The diet books really worked for me...I bought so many I couldn't afford any food.'

'Here ya' go, sweetie. Our Key Lime Pie.'

'It says, 'If you want more fiber, eat the package.'

"Do you have anything with FOOD in it?"

'First of all, I'm taking you off the iron supplements.'

The big break in the case of the missing French Fries: 'But just to make sure, can you have each of them squawk.'

'Just between you and me, Mrs Frobish, how'd you like the lowdown on what's really in knockwurst?'

Rat Hair: Peanut Butter Ingredient.

'You hate to see this kind of thing.'

"What do you have that justifies its calories?"

'You're lucky you can't read.'

'Police. We have reason to believe you've been hacking into your neighbor's computers and stealing their recipes.'

"The manna tastes okay, but I'd feel better if I had a list of ingredients."