Dairy Aficionado T-Shirts

Lactose Intolerant

Milk is for wimps.

French Cow

"Two per cent."

The Grim Reaper and Expired Milk

'Coffee. Milk.'

"This is some of my best work."

"Do you know why I pulled your udder?"

"Are you single?

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

McMorkim's Cheeses Security A gang of mice wheeling in a giant mousetrap with Pizza and Beer as bait to a Security Guard's post hoping to gain access to a cheese Factory if the Guard is trapped.

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

Where Skim Milk comes from.

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

A man in a car waits for a large herd of cows to cross the road; once they have crossed he finds a cow sitting in the passenger seat of his car.

'Oh Hi!'

Important Food Groups

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

"Oh my god -- I can't believe it's real butter!"

"Wait, what are you doing?"

Monitor lizard becomes milk monitor.

'I think I'm lactose intolerant.'

'It's a great film Pauline, I nearly milked myself laughing.'

Cheese Pile

"And I put it to you Mr. MacDonald, that on the morning of December 3rd, you had cold hands whilst attaching a milking machine to my client's udder!"

'Mom, the donut is drinking my milk!'

'I feel like such a failure: They have to process my milk to make it low-fat...'

Cute cow drinking from a carton from Nestle

"Mum, please jump up and down . . . I feel like a milkshake."

'After a Gadzillon glasses of milk and cookies who wouldn't have an upset stomach?'

"Cheese is just a substitute for the love you've never given me."

A slow Day on the Rolling News Channel