Daily Chaos Survivor Pillows

'Right here is where it always gets confusing. Am I coming or going?'

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

''My Summer Vacation †the Untold Story'....'

"It started as a crusade. Now it's just a commute."

'You see, you don't really need a cigarette to wake up in the morning.'

'Nothing serious. I just hate my job.'

"You doomscroll, I make coffee, and together we forge bravely into each new day."

A usual day.

"Thanks for the offer... but I'd rather see if tech support can get my computer running."

Accountancy

'Hello dear - I've had a very depressing day.'

"Don't get caught."

"Please wait while I load up software you'll never use and stick random icons all over the place."

"It just doesn't seem right. Ever since the new system upgrade nothing is where it used to be!"

"Whatever the politicians might decide, I'm well prepared because I've got enough hate comments for the next five years!"

"That's the seventh time Dad's waved at me."

"I usually wake up screaming at six-thirty, and I'm in my office by nine."

'Don't worry... Buster's always digging-up something or other!'

'Well that seems conclusive, a soft fabric chefs hat is no protection against a 5L can of beans...'

'... and the kids are screaming and the house is a disaster, and my husband finally get gets home and says 'how was your day?'... so I bit his head off.'

Please continue to hold, but feel free to switch hands.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz - 'How did my life get this dull?'

"If you really want to stay on here, Wiles, you're going to have to give more effort."

Missing sock announcement on a milk carton.

It doesn't pay to own a cuckoo clock and a dog at the same time.

"After two weeks winter holiday in the Alps with the wife and my four kids, it is wonderfully relaxing to come back to a stressful workday!"

'Bill's alarm clocks were going off early today.'

'Daddy, the toaster has stopped working again.'

A severe case of getting up on the wrong side of bed...

Adam and Eve tempted by apple in hazmat suits.

Clockwork Revolving Door

Lather, rinse, dry, style, get dressed, go to work,come home, eat dinner, go to bed, wake up, repeat.

One day he hoped to be clean and sober. But for now, clean would do.

"We are currently experiencing high call volumes..."

Frantically overworked telephone receptionist getting severly stressed