Dada Gifts

Francis Picabia

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

Young Frank Lloyd Wright

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

Robot Parts $5

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

Butterfly Woman

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

'I have this fear of the real world...'

Skipping Horse

I should be a writer when I grow up...

Remote control pirate bully

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

Domestic Superheroes!!

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

'Boy, the fish are really biting today, aren't they, Fred?'

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"