Dad Joke Connoisseur T-Shirts

'What'd you make dad' - 'It's a snowman, with his ugly, ungrateful son,'

"Sergio, you are the best father in the world. Except, you know, when you're not."

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Cry babies.

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

'He's bound to wake up sometime!'

"What do you call a person who only eats corn?"

"Look, honey, I got dinner on line!"

Nobody mourned Sir Dad-Joke.

Next to Nothing

"I love my new tie! I'll wear it to work tomorrow." "The report'll be done shortly." "Excellent!"

'That's a picture of my granddad with shoulder length hair and a beard. That's why mom calls these albums hair looms.'

Hammer and chisel discussing what they've been doing, chisel says; 'Oh you know, getting into a few scrapes.'

"How much did it cost to have your ears pierced?"

"Sure was a lot of screaming for the happiest day of your life."

"Bad news. Your use-by date was a month ago."

Official Team Cap With Beard

Note Book

"It's a dependent!"

"Is this fake noodle." "Yes, impasta."

Looky... It's Bat'minton... I'll see myself out."

"OK...what's the quickest way to the hospital?"

"I don't think the crackling sound coming from your lower back is as serious as you thought. Just relax and I'll have this Rice Krispie Square out of your back pocket in no time."

"Congratulations! You've told the same joke one thousand times!"

'The brown one that smells like an old man.'

"Have you seen my wife?"

"When did this game get started?"

"I don't ever want you taken away, son. Never get into subtraction."

"Okay, I'll change your diaper, but you better not tell any of my patients."

"No sign of Simba?"

Child on a schedule.

'Dad, I need help with chemistry, what's the periodic table?'

D-Day (Dad Day)

"Oh no, the lectern and microphone. I get the feeling I'm getting another one of your boring life lectures."

"What happens if you get the headphones in the wrong ear?"