Dad Director Gifts

'It wasn't premeditated.

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Looks like we found the issue."

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

Domestic Superheroes!!

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

'Boy, the fish are really biting today, aren't they, Fred?'

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

Showbiz Awards

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

"Hold it right there, ma'am! If you get too close to the artwork, I'll have to ask you to leave the gallery."

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

Benedict Cumberbatch

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

Typical Brain Versus Einstein's Brain

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'Not that net!'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

"No no, I said sit!!"

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

A baby duck in a tiny car seat on the mother duck's back.