Dachshund Fans Pillows

"He's more of a shoulder dog than a lap dog."

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

No littering...

"Now there's something you don't see everyday. How long have you been using dachshunds as sled dogs.?"

"I have spirit, yes I do. I have spirit, how 'bout you?"

Dogs all across town saw fit to teach their owners a little empathy...

'I took your advice and got a long little doggy.'

Goldfish evolution - "...it's called evolution and it means in a few years we'll walk right out that door."

"Why do you call the new sheepdog Bra?"

The inner dog emerging from a sausage dog.

Long Dachshund

'...Basset Hound! Anal sacs!'

'The ranch-style house is for our wiener dog.'

A sausage dog shrinking after toileting

'You wouldn't be very good at petting dachshunds.'

"Well, when you were called a 'bad dog,' were you publicly harmed?"

'Is he sitting?'

"We went with the burger dog instead of the weiner dog."

'That's the problem with Dacshunds, you can never tell whether they're coming or going.'

"Yes, but why did they use a picture that makes me look fat?!"

Dachshund Yoga

"Ok, Santa comes in and goes for the cookies, while I sneak up and join the reindeer! Foolproof!"

'You know Rosco, our species just ain't what it used to be.'

Reptilian trauma.

Tiger suddenly realizes he enrolled in the wrong class.

"Kate! Long time, no sniff!"

'How did you know his name was Fritz?'...

'Don't use too much suction on that Chihuahua, Teresa.'

Could I trade in this greyhound for a dachshund? My doctor says I have to slow up.

Dachshund grown chart

Dachshund with wheels round tummy.