Décor Fan T-Shirts

'I WANTED to paint the room a shade of green, but gave up somewhere between chartreuse and citrine.'

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

"We're looking for something for our panic room."

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."

"Sometimes, Cheryl, I wonder why you only invite me along to cocktail parties."

Would you make up your mind? I can't keep letting you in and out all day.

Open House of Horrors

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

"We're out of flowers."

'I love what you've not done with the place.'

'That was nice of them to order us a new scratching post!'

Mice 25¢

"Does it come with magnets?"

Frontispiece for Beardsley's Erotic Novel 'Venus and Tannhauser'- Not Used in this Form

Crossword bathroom tiles.

Cat gets caught eating the cuckoo from a cuckoo clock.

Smaller shoe being built onto a shoe house.

"I finally figured out what was causing my backache. You know that fancy modern office furniture I ordered a few weeks back? I just realized. I've been sitting on the wastebasket."

"Ever since I said I liked creative ties, things have gotten out of hand around here."

'A Dust Cow'.

"These were taken on some of my favorite layovers."

"Yes, it is strange...usually he reads the 'Daily Gossip'."

Napkin Cole

The Booger.

"Love the exposed chessboard."

5 foot high or less aisle in a supermarket

Emma's Bridal Wear: Gowns Veils Trains

'We didn't know what to do with all our old, outdated equipment, so we made a sculpture garden from it.'

The hand sanitiser had all gone but I managed to get one of these

'An occasional table... what is it the rest of the time?'

'-and she gets headaches every time the doorbell plays our tune.'

Rep-Tiles.

'No, I don't think you're a mental case, Mrs Clydehopper. Then again, this is a furniture store, and I'm a salesman...'