Cynical Humor Aficionados T-Shirts

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

Unemotional Support Animal

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

Stairlift around cliff face.

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

65 Million Years Ago

6,000 BC: Neolithic Barbecue

Stormy weather

Humans Queue To Use Portable Toilet While Dogs Queue To Use Tree Portable Toilet

"He looks just like your husband."

Cheating Death.

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

"Very Presidential."

"WOW, we're on top of the world!"

First we thought the apes would conquer the world...When in reality we've been busy mining the end of the world all along.

'You gonna finish that lemon peel?'

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

"He doesn’t say much, but he thinks a lot."

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

'Yeah, but if it's NOT a mirage, maybe we can find Mapquest on it!'

'Dang, you were right! It is formal!'

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

Girl who can't cook meets guy who can't fix stuff.

'Do we want to tackle this head on, or just stun it with a glancing blow until next Monday?'

'It's in my belly-button if you must know!'

Watchdog on Holiday