Cynical Bookworm Gifts

Best seller - how you can profit from the coming terrorist upheaval.

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

hard-boiled egg...

"Max! Oh, my God! There's like a billion moving ideas in there!"

Church Library - Pop-Up Books

The practical psychopath

'It must be a problem of interpretation. I've read this book DOZENS of times, and I keep winding up here!'

K9 Literati

The Da Vinci Cod

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

Bug reading book has antennae that are lights.

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"

'I'm afraid there is no Book of Loophole.'

"At least she's reading."

A man reading 'Beach Chairs for Dummies'

'Are you writing my symptoms, or is that your autobiography?'

"This is the way I like it - I pretend to be asleep and he doesn't bother me."

Who says religion can't have a sense of humour.

"I just remembered where I left my chew toy."

A man uses a reaching tool to keep a book far enough out for him to read it.

'An alternative to having me psychoanalyze you is to write a book and have the critics do it.'

"Convicts selling novels from prison? At least that could never happen here, eh Jones?"

The book is so much better than the film..

"So, you're telling me that you can't return, 'How to be a secret agent' because the final chapter instructed you to eat it after reading?"

'Classic literature for D.I.Y. haters'

Pastoring for Dummies

"Do you have any bedtime stories that aren't about the former Yugoslavia?"

Book signing The Art Of Forgery - "Gee thanks, Oprah Winfrey."

The Colonel at home.

"Poetry would be way more accessible if they just said what they meant."

"No, no, that's my copy of 'Being and Time'—look at the teeth marks along 'Heidegger'."