Cynical Bookworm T-Shirts

Best seller - how you can profit from the coming terrorist upheaval.

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

hard-boiled egg...

"Max! Oh, my God! There's like a billion moving ideas in there!"

The practical psychopath

Church Library - Pop-Up Books

'It must be a problem of interpretation. I've read this book DOZENS of times, and I keep winding up here!'

K9 Literati

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

The Da Vinci Cod

Publisher. "The Laws of Motion " is a little dry for a title, Mr. Newton. How about something catchier like "When Push Comes to Shove"?

"Quantum Physics"? How am I going to learn all of this stuff? A bit at a time?

Mars Poppins

Bug reading book has antennae that are lights.

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"

'I'm afraid there is no Book of Loophole.'

"At least she's reading."

A man reading 'Beach Chairs for Dummies'

'Are you writing my symptoms, or is that your autobiography?'

"This is the way I like it - I pretend to be asleep and he doesn't bother me."

Who says religion can't have a sense of humour.

"So, you're telling me that you can't return, 'How to be a secret agent' because the final chapter instructed you to eat it after reading?"

1,000 places to see after you die by Shirley Maclaine.

"Convicts selling novels from prison? At least that could never happen here, eh Jones?"

The book is so much better than the film..

'An alternative to having me psychoanalyze you is to write a book and have the critics do it.'

"I just remembered where I left my chew toy."

'Classic literature for D.I.Y. haters'

A man uses a reaching tool to keep a book far enough out for him to read it.

Pastoring for Dummies

"Do you have any bedtime stories that aren't about the former Yugoslavia?"

The Colonel at home.

Book signing The Art Of Forgery - "Gee thanks, Oprah Winfrey."

"No, no, that's my copy of 'Being and Time'—look at the teeth marks along 'Heidegger'."