Cynic's Club Member T-Shirts

'I prefer realistic toasts.'

'I'm death for goodness sake - why do I have to adopt a more healthy lifestyle?'

'When politicians start talking about a new deal, you can be sure that the cards are marked.'

The Forever Stamp

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

Famous Oxymorons...

"Life sucks and then you keep living."

"They're at that age where it's only cool to wag ironically."

"...He broke your heart, did he? Well, I can't say I didn't see this coming!"

'So to sum up this lengthy discussion: at the next meeting we'd prefer one platter of Brie and grape, one of honey glazed ham, and one of roast beef with wild horseradish - and NO cheese and pickle.'

"Everyone is so cynical these days."

Federal Bureau of Do As We Say, NOT As We Do!

"Diogenes, this is Washington, D.C. It's probably the worst place to look for an honest man."

Diogenes and tourists

'The dip in profits here is attributed to the purchase of this projector and screen.'

"At Ermbruster Academy you son will acquire indispensible life skills."

'Here - The Royal Safety Council said you have to wear this.'

"You seem to have the right combination of bitterness, pessimism, and caffeine consumption that we're looking for."

"And in this section it appears that you have not only alienated voters but actually infected them, too."

"What? You were expecting good news? Expectations are so-o-o-o passe."

"Let's see if we can't make an end run around basic human decency."

'Our government is comprised of three branches - politicians, lobbyists, and the media.'

Information and Still don't get it.

'These are fine, but what's in it for me?'

'The following program may not be suitable for those of you who are sick and tired of politics....'

"I started out looking for an honest man and settled for a guy with creative bookkeeping skills."

"So apart from stop being 'lying hypocritical uncaring bastards who'd promise anything to get back in power'...is there anything else we might do to secure your vote?"

"I've had a few days to calm down and process things and I've come to the realization that I was wrong to have had faith in humanity."

"He's our man. He's our guy. He lies less than those other guys!"