Cycling Calamity Collector T-Shirts

"I figured out why your car was pulling to the right."

"We'll destroy it to the ground ... ...and then..."

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Hunting - No. XII

The End of the World is Nigh - man with placard

"The clothes looked extra dirty... so I used the whole box of detergent!"

"Larry made that chair from a pile of sticks."

'It has ten speeds but only one has been used.'

"Uh-oh...I fear this means trouble at the stock exchange!"

"Right I've checked everything 6 times. Surely nothing can go wrong this time."

Mr. Jonas exhibits his presence of mind

'I've lost my job, my wife and kids, the house, what the hell else could possibly go wrong?!"

Car crashed into warning sign

Cat scratching chair. Chair falls on cat.

'The good news is that it's only flat at the bottom.'

'Landsbanki collapses in October 2008 and affects thousands of investors,' - 'The 'Eyjafjallajokull' volcano erupts in April 2010 causing massive disruption to international airspace,' - 'The question you have to ask is, 'Did sacking Kerry Katona,,,'

Season Finale

'I can't get into my room because of all the clothes, books and C.Ds piled up against the door, so we have to go in this way.'

"It's O.K., it's just the cyclical nature of our business."

"My apologies, sir. Our chef forgot to take his beta-blocker."

'I told you she is a bad cook - that's just defrosting the chips.'

'Reading between the lines Colin began to suspect that a second date was unlikely!'

'Can he call you back? He's in the middle of his morning catastrophe briefing.'

Fred was mortified to discover his web cam was broadcasting to his new boss while he was seeing what he might look like after plastic surgery.

Immediately after the babies are born, the adults begin the cycle all over again.

"No, sir, recumbent unicycles are not a thing."

'It's easy to remember - if it's steam she's ironing and if it's thick black smoke she's cooking.'

"Do you have any idea what you've done? There are twelve hundred bottles of cognac on that ship!"

If This Had Been an Actual Emergency

'I can't stop, it's a stimulus package.'

"Every time I touch a computer it dies. It's taking all the fun out of online shopping."

Maternity/Eternity

"Note to self: Do not flush train toilets while still sitting on the seat."