Cybersecurity Crusader T-Shirts

'Give me the name of your first girlfriend, first car, and first pet!'

"This online survey about gullibility asked for my credit card number. That's odd."

Cyber War

Help. Lost my passwords, victim of I.D. theft & can't remember who I am.

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

"I find it so stimulating to learn new software."

"On a positive note, he's not our boss. He's the guy who stole our boss's identity."

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

A Little Extra

"This is the communications workshop, right? Let’s get started, I’m prepared!"

'I thought people were quite receptive to the change seminar.'

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

'Well look, here come the hackers!'

"These targeted ads are getting out of hand."

"I suppose we should start with listening skills!"

"Get used to verifications. In the court of the internet, you are presumed a robot until proven otherwise."

"I'd like to get my withdrawal in either cryptocurrency or social-media exposure."

"This is Alexander. He’ll be heading up our hacking division."

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

Football anagram: Curse straw mat (Answer: Marcus Stewart.)

"Are you sure you updated the anti-virus software?"

'It's a foolproof computer network, sir, that no one can break into, not even a kid.'

"Tell me when it's all cyber warfare, and I'll enlist!"

'I think both of you are always too busy: You don't talk anymore...'

'I want to sue my veterinarian. He didn't keep doctorpatient confidentiality and blabbed about my sex change operation to the tabloids.'

'I think I set the security level, on my anti virus software, too high. Whenever I access anything it is automatically deleted.'

Robot Robber

IT security.

"Yes, I'm a superhero. I'm not attractive, muscular or charming because I work in the 'cyber crimes' division."

Privacy Stops Where the Parking Lot Begins

'I suspected hackers when it accepted all the student scholarship applications.'