Customer Service Satirists Pillows

To The Sorry For The Inconvenience Department

"Let me connect you to a disagreeable person in our Customer Service Department."

"All that's left is to either refer 3 friends or write a brief review."

'Your echo is important to us. Please stand by. Your echo will be returned in the order in which it was received.'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?" "Sure." "Can you warm this one up? Maybe sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it, and maybe make it three biscuits?" "You sure this is for your dog?" "Can you also sprinkle a little turkey on it?"

'Your call may be monitored to give us a few good laughs.'

"I like Casual Dining, but this is too casual. I ordered spaghetti!"

If you don't give me a free hot chocolate, you're probably not a patriot. #$%* Fox News.

"Not more sleeve alterations?!"

'Oh, hello Dave. Would you like that in untraceable, used notes, like last time?'

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

'Remember Jones, the customer is always right, no matter how stupid and ignorant he may be.'

"You can tell it's a classy restaurant - they're ignoring us with panache."

'Have a little patience, Sir - We're not machines...'

'Would you like a room on the sunny side, sir? Haha, just kidding!'

"Welcome to The Cable Cafe. Your waiter will be with you between now and 5:00PM."

"I'd like to leave a wake up call for, . ... OHH ..., April."

"I ordered my steak rare - and this is well done...!"

'We found your luggage! It went to Buffalo!'

"Hi again. Can I just check whether you enjoyed me interrupting your meal five minutes ago to ask whether you were enjoying your meal?"

We Offer Fast, Friendly Or Quality Service! "So, which one do you want?"

'We're well known for serving only the freshest mineral water, Madame.'

'I'll be back to take your order as soon as I've eaten.'

'Don't worry, he always feigns death when it comes to tipping.'

'Tellers laughing ' 'Can I have my statement?'

"If your internet doesn't work, please check our online help chat...if your internet doesn't work..."

You are on hold. Press One for Vivaldi...

'You are through to 24/7 support...our helpline times are between 8am and 7pm.'

Use Next Window.

"What's this I hear about you opening an account at another bank?"

'Waiter, there's a tar ball in my soup.'

"But the good news is that if you get a life threatening illness...then you'd get a decent payout."

'We're sorry sir, but our kitchen is out-sourced and takes a little longer.'