Customer Service Comedians Pillows

"What makes you think you can patronize me?"

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

'Your call may be monitored to give us a few good laughs.'

"I like Casual Dining, but this is too casual. I ordered spaghetti!"

Waiter' You betta stop that food fight, you SILLY fools! Here comes the Maitre D' !'

"Not more sleeve alterations?!"

'We'll get our food....eventually.'

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?" "Sure." "Can you warm this one up? Maybe sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it, and maybe make it three biscuits?" "You sure this is for your dog?" "Can you also sprinkle a little turkey on it?"

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

'Thanks to his brilliant conversation techniques, Bob had the shortest calls.'

'Remember Jones, the customer is always right, no matter how stupid and ignorant he may be.'

"Waiter!"

'Would you like a room on the sunny side, sir? Haha, just kidding!'

"I'd like to leave a wake up call for, . ... OHH ..., April."

"I hope you're not expecting a tip."

'We found your luggage! It went to Buffalo!'

'Ed's busy, but someone who speaks out of both sides of his mouth will be right with you.'

'Tellers laughing ' 'Can I have my statement?'

Shopping Trolley

"If your internet doesn't work, please check our online help chat...if your internet doesn't work..."

"We have a fund with a new, advanced financial strategy but it hasn't been tested on humans.''

'You are through to 24/7 support...our helpline times are between 8am and 7pm.'

"We've had to update our restaurant's motto."

"What's this I hear about you opening an account at another bank?"

"Thank you for not taking our customer satisfaction surney at the end this call. Now I can be rude to you with impunity."

A waiter strictly adhering to his religion

"Your prayers may be recorded for quality and training purposes and will be answered by the next available deity."

"But the good news is that if you get a life threatening illness...then you'd get a decent payout."

'A table near a waiter please.'

"There's a fly in my soup."

'What's wrong with me today? I actually served a customer...'

'For kicking our salesman down the stairs, we take 10 euros extra charge, sir!'