Customer Service Awareness Prints

"Maybe next time you should pay the bill BEFORE you tell them you're giving the place a lousy online review!"

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

"I've tasted better myself, but you've got to admit the service is good."

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"Remember Mr. Cockbundle is not just a 'customer', he is an important source of valuable and readily marketable data."

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

Feedback card for lions eating their prey.

Direct Marketing...

'I'd like to return this, please.'

'Why are you arguing? The customer is always right, you know! 'But he called you a crook!'

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

"I like to sit facing the room to see if anyone seated after us gets served before us."

"L.L. Bean slippers... $25.00 Ambulance ride to hospital... $500.00 X-rays of spine... $350.00 Three refills of hydrocodone... priceless!"

Maybe it's now time to review our customer care strategy!"

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'

"Ugh! They always spell my name wrong?"

"This is what we call a 'customer', or more accurately a 'potential profit centre.'"

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

"Nihilistic customer service"

"So, you want me to go all the way back to the kitchen just to get you a menu...? Couldn't I just give you a link to our, online menu?!"

"I'll carve the wheels, you'll sell them, and Oog, here, can be customer service."

"Wrong window. I’m a sea lion. You need an otter."

"Try not to think of them just as a 'customer' but rather as your only chance of paying your mortgage and putting food on your plate."

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

Man from refuse department says: 'We'll send you a new wheelie bin, Mrs Trubshaw, there's really no need to 'orchestrate a mass Twitter campaign'.'