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Eggs to order!

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

'Take my tip,sonny and say it with jelly babies.'

"I said I'd give you the world, didn't I?"

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

"We value your input, but all your suggestions involve more play-time, naps and treats."

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

'I'm a bit pressed for time. Give me your one-minute elevator pitch.'

Christmas Presents.

Santa called but you were out!

"Of course, I'm willing to negotiate. . ."

'You still owe me the pony from last year!'

You Will Have a Merry Christmas. . . Resistance is Futile.

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

A centipede's Christmas stockings

'They were all out of roses.'

C'mon, help me out! Which rock do you think my kids would like better?

"That's $20 for you if you pluck the tail feathers off my rival over there..."

"Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Fred, Sam, Brian, John, Walter, Jeff...."

"A classic lowrider bike usually is built on a late 1960's Schwinn 20-inch frame."

Happy Valentine's.

Valentines Day truck

How the gift registry should really work

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

A tailor measuring a large man

A gift for me? It's a cape because I think you're a superhero!

Frankenstein's Monster receiving birthday present.

Your basket: Gold. . .You may also like: Frankincense and Myrrh.

"This says you should expect to spend six months and at least $800 building the perfect lowrider bike."

"The Valentine's Day gift that has it all - a card made from edible flowers dipped in chocolate!"