Curtain Call Lover Pillows

'Mamma Mia, Les Mis, Leveson inquiry...'

"I've got it! If we don't send Stanley Kauffman any tickets, maybe he won't come!"

"Congratulations on opening night."

Indoor Climbing Centre for Cats.

'They all want to play the star.'

Taking a peek at the audience

"Then, after college, I joined the navy. Wait, I think I hear him coming."

I don't think I'm letting sunlight in when I open the curtains. I think the darkness is going out.

"I take it you got the lead in the school play."

"Which one's yours?"

'All it needs is a ceiling fan.'

Drama Llama

'Mummy, can you please pull the curtain and make it dark please? I'm scared of the light...'

Spider boy

"Is there a dramaturge in the house?"

Bravo!

John Woodvine

Velvety. And so was the wine.

Waiting Room For Godot.

"I'm ringing you because there's nobody in the carriage to annoy..."

"Try and stop me if you’ve heard this one before …"

Painting the Sistine Chapel. 1508. 1509. 1510. 1511. 1512. It looks great, Michelangelo, but there's one thing I don't understand. Why didn't you just paint it in the regular way and then mount it on the ceiling?

Book and magician

'Look at it out there, Jones. Successful businesses as far as the eyes can see... We're gonna need some curtains.'

'Thomas won't stay off the stage. He loves his part in the school play - he's the commercial.'

Heaven on the Phone to Hell - 'We've got Sky.'

"Terrific! A hit! Broadway at its best!"

At Astley's

"Could someone please get a plaque made? A famous actor has just died in our theatre."

"Mr Potts, could you step behind the curtain and get undressed please."

'I'm just opening him now. Stand by and I will give you a detailed description of what I find inside your husband...uh...hello?'

'Beep... Hello, it's the Black Knight again... Could we move our fight to Thursday morning? Call me back...'

'I'm your agent! You're going to have to do another swansong.'

"For some plays, the second act is best left shrouded in mystery."

'You don't me- I'm not on Twitter or Facebook but I would like to be your friend,'