Cursing Connoisseur Gifts

Watch your language.

Gordon Ramsey's Refrigerator

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

'It's our own consumer confidence test. Throw some nickels out and if they're picked up in 5 minutes confidence is really low!'

"He's a guard dog."

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

"We are gathered here to morn the passing of Bob Opossum."

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

Why Cupid is not allowed to drink alcohol anymore...

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

'Your resume and interview were so bad, not only did you not get the job, I'm having you arrested as well.'

"OK, now another guy found a feather in his soup! One of you is molting, and I need to know who!"

Surprised chicken: 'I know. I can't believe it either.'

'Take me to you lieder.'

Curling your hair for no reason

'I thought I would rent it out for the extra dough.'

'Billy! Set your homework aside and get down here. There's another basketball recruiter here to see you.'

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

Lawyer's baby first word: whiplash!

"Every Thursday I do her nails."

Crazy old clown cat lady.

Clown's In and Out Trays.

"Humiliation is a very important part of the the process, Mr. Keifer."

"Did you honestly expect our couples therapist to know when Jacoby Ellsbury will be off the disabled list?!"

'Well it's too bad you're not a black widow like me, Slyvia...'

'Therapy in L.A.'

"That damn dog's scratching again!"

Woman Curls Her Dog.

'It's clear that we need Haitian refugees in America to do jobs Americans aren't willing to do... Like voting Democratic!'

'I'm sorry young lady, but you're not old enough to be free range!'