Curry Critic Prints

'Sorry Ted, I don't like hot curries: They burn my mouth...'

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

All Harold's aptitude test showed is that he had an aptitude for taking tests.

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

"Try to get him away from that bloody whip...Pass it on."

Dr. Saltine, pioneer of salt transplants.

Movies vs. Films

'Mustard, ketchup and mayo are all nice and creamy smooth. Why isn't anything being done about relish?'

"Eating a diet rich in vibrant colors does not mean a bowl of Skittles."

'How long have you had this obsessive hatred of cats?'

"Put away the gummy candies and bring out the apples. The kid's mother is our dentist!"

"My therapist said next time he tries to put his head in my mouth I've to politely refuse"

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

"He added the computer, TV and cable box. Apparently, sand wasn't enough."

Free Speech has heavy price.

Supreme court chairs with IV bags

"Med Brittle"

"Fancy an Indian?"

Mime on invisible phone in restaurant.

Candy Land for Adults

"Let's see if there's another witch's cottage with a better candy selection."

The Additives Arrive...'This cereal tastes like it has some sodium propionate in it.'

Barrett - rushed majority

"I got horse dewormer..."

"We seem to be the only animals here."

Sick Exhibitionist

"Eww! -- Is that the only color bandage you have?"

"Kids terrify me."

"That's one thing you can't get up here, a good hot curry."

'Stocks dipped on the news that the manufacturing . . .'

Balance Sheets in Space

"A cat wouldn't answer."

'I hate chocolates that are gooey inside but I love Valentine's cards that are all gooey inside.'