Curriculum Crusader Pillows

'This is going really well. I did a great job organizing this lecture.'

"So I can't use my own standards for standards-based learning? Figures."

Kate's first task as new principal was to right a number of wrongs.

'My toughest course is 'Chemistry for English majors.'

"We thought this was more realistic."

Dark Ages

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

"I find it so stimulating to learn new software."

"Are you sure you want to present your ideas in the form of an airplane?"

Caged Businessman

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

Our college is tuned to the students' every need! Campus Visits. We have body image awareness week. Safe sex awareness week. Bullying, drug use and tolerance awareness weeks. What did I miss? Welcome. History, math or English awareness week? Great idea. I'll suggest that.

"I finally got tenure by publishing a research paper funded by a grant about subsidies."

'Life isn't fair and neither is Miss Brown!'

Creativity 2.0

Nervous Student

I love being right.

'We've got to upgrade our computer system. Downloading information on this one takes too long.'

'Congratulations! And please give your parents this receipt for $148 thousand.'

"I devote most of my time to defending the bastions of culture."

'Of course you're overworked and underpaid! Didn't you read the fine print in your employee's contract?'

Louis Pasteur Caricature

'Iran offered us a deal -- we learn to pronounce 'Ahmadinejad'.....and they'll try 'Schwarzenegger.''

The Glass Floor

'Your acceptance is tentative until we can rule on the question of your knowingly using pirated software.'

"Painting was her love, but framing was her passion."

"I happen to be somewhat in a rush. Would it be possible to discuss the various aspects of multiculturalism at some other time soon?"

Let the profit-making begin!

'My problem is that I'm number one in my field and I have no place to go but down.'

"So, Mrs. Miller, would you tell me briefly your methods for teaching reading, your overall philosophy of education, your views on testing, your ideas on discipline, your opinions about homework, the ways you could excite kids about science, and how you would upgrade math skills in our school should you be hired?"

'That concludes the list of students with outstanding grades. And now for those of you with outstanding student loan payments...'

Blogger's Block: 'I'm all nouned out.'

"Apparently we've introduced unconscious bias writing our algorithms."