Current Event Escapist Pillows

"My new year's resolution was to watch less news. Hal's was no news at all."

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

Bo're'droom

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

"Mum! - T.S. Eliot - 'Humankind cannot bear much reality'."

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

Tree house.

"I think we're all agreed that we need to focus 110% on meeting strategic corporate goals."

Rising Gas Prices

"Could I please go back to the rack now?"

'I was so angry, I got up and tip-toed out of the meeting. I probably should've stomped.'

"I'm not lazy. I'm resting before I get tired."

'The trick is to make them feel better about themselves without actually paying them any better...'

"And in order to align the designated objectives withthe fiscally driven cross functional departmental...did you understand any of that?" "Only the blah! blah! bit."

'I wish you had chosen a more pertinent educational issue than 'Do Dogs Actually Eat Homework?''

"No, Thursday's out. How about never - is never good for you?"

"Now we'll all close our eyes and cover our ears, and the person who took the four hundred and twenty-eight million dollars will put it back."

Try out this summer's hot novels in a beach setting

"It's a weak pilot, but, if your stick with it, by Season 3 you grow completely numb to the show's quality and just keep hitting Next Episode."

But doc, my tenuous grasp of reality is what gets me through the day!

Man opens front door to find he's up in clouds.

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

"Not again!"

Meeting to determinet non-essential personnel.

'Joyce, you've gotta see this! This 3-D large screen HD TV is amazing!'

Message in a bottle.

American Idle

Dangerous tax audits.

I've got no cell phone, no computer, no grumbling wife, no stupid boss. Feel free to envy me.

"Anywhere that doesn't have tvs, computers, radios, ipods,cell phones or video games."

'If you keep running away, son, you'll never make it through your formative years.'

Bleh! That dreaded time of year had come around again. Everyone says it's torture. Prepare for the Apocalypse. Ok, class. Together we will all somehow survive

No, I distinctly heard a "soo-wee" ringtone.

A giveaway tan line...